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Step 1.
We admitted that we were powerless - that our lives had become
unmanageable.
Step 2.
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
Step 3.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care
of God as we understood him.
Step 4.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to
make amends to them all.
Step 9.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when
to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other human beings and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
From Newsgroup: alt.recovery.aa
the 4th Step Study guide posted by obie@shadow.net
Many readers find the instructions for STEP FOUR in the "Big Book", Alcoholics Anonymous, confusing and complex. This guide is written to reflect the experience of several members of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous in analyzing these instructions and in their experience in taking this step and helping others take this step in accordance with the instructions given in the BIG BOOK. For those persons who want what the first 100 members of Alcoholics Anonymous had and many thousands (millions) have since attained, these instructions should clarify Step Four of the process that the originators of the program set out. Of course, the first three steps are essential to this process, and should be completed (worked) thoroughly before attempting this stage of the process. A sponsor can be invaluable in this process. The experience of the Steps is available to anyone who will complete each of the steps to the best of their ability in the order in which they are numbered. Perfection is not required, but a good effort involving honesty, open-mindedness and willingness is essential.
Perhaps the greatest promise made by the program of Alcoholic Anonymous is that God, as you understand him, will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. This promise carries with it the obvious condition that you must do what you can !!
If you have made the decision required by Step Three, the BIG BOOK warns us that, "Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us (from God). Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Therefore, we started on a personal inventory...."
The specific text of the instructions for taking this step is on pages 64 through 71 of the Big Book. These instructions should be read carefully at this point.
The inventory is described as a "fact-finding and fact-facing process." We are said to be seeking the truth about ourselves and to honestly be taking stock of our lives. We are to search "out the flaws in our makeup which caused our failure." Throughout the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, it is stated that self, selfishness, and self-centeredness lay at the base of our troubles. "Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations." These common manifestations are grouped into three categories: resentment, fear, and relationships.
From these thoughts and mental attitudes, "stems all forms of spiritual disease...." We are instructed to list all people, institutions, or principles with whom we were angry or had resentments. What is a resentment?
Webster's Dictionary defines "resentment" as "indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined offense." Webster's then refers the reader to the word "anger" and gives other examples of this thought or feeling, which includes rage, fury, ire, wrath, resentment, and indignation. These words denote varying degrees of displeasure from anger (strong, intense, and explosive) to the longer lasting resentment (ill-will and suppressed anger generated by a sense of being wronged by another or being wrong).
In summary and broadly defined, we are dealing with a negative or unpleasant thought or feeling caused or generated by the real or imagined act or failure to, act of a person, institution, or principle. We will list what and who we are angry at, or with whom, "We were `burned up'."
Person, institutions, or principles may need some explanation. Remember, you are a "person" and your actions or failure to act may very well cause you to think or feel bad (generally, this might be called guilt). Institutions are any group of people, authorities, companies, governmental agencies, or other organizations.
A principle is a basic truth or rule, or law. Some of these have and may offend us or were misinterpreted; for example;
Honesty is the best policy.
It's better to give than receive.
What goes around, come around.
To err is human, to forgive is divine.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The meek shall inherit the earth.
With the foregoing instructions in mind and before proceeding any further with this Step, a list should be prepared of the people, institutions, or principles which have or do cause you resentments, as defined above.
Certain points should be remembered:
If you can remember the resentment, you should write it down, even though you think that you are over it. Go back through your life; "nothing counts but thoroughness and honesty."
A review of family albums, school annuals, old pictures, etc. may be useful in being thorough.
Do not concern yourself with whether you should or should not have the anger or resentment, just make the list and nothing more at this point.
Throughout the taking of Step Four and at times thereafter, you may recall other people, institutions, or principles which have caused these negative thoughts and feelings. You can add to this list at any time, but do not spend too much time worrying about how complete this list is. Simply do the best that you can do over a reasonable period of time (perhaps a week).
When you have completed your list, and not before, each resentment must be analyzed. Step Four will mean very little unless you come to understand each resentment and learn from it. The following procedure has proven helpful in this understanding and analysis:
Purchase a spiral notebook and open it so that you have a blank page on either side of the wire spiral. With a ruler or straight-edge, divide each of the pages vertically so that when both pages are divided, you have a total of four columns. Turn the page and repeat this procedure until you have divided a few pages in this manner. The drawing attached to the end of this guide may help you understand this instruction.
The columns should be labeled as follows:
Column 1: "Name"
Column 2: "Cause"
Column 3: "Affects"
Column 4: (leave blank for right now.)
| Name | Cause | Affects | |
|---|---|---|---|
Take the first name from your "Grudge List" and write it in column 1 on the first page.
In column 2, write a few words which describe each and every event or circumstance that you recall which causes you to resent the person named in Column 1. This part is very important ! We learn from specific events, not general complaints ( for example we learn little from the complaint that "she was always lying", but we learn much from a specific, "she told me that she was on the pill."
Opposite each of the events you have listed in Column 2, write down why this event or circumstance bothered you.
Specifically ask yourself:
Did it affect my self-esteem (the way that I think of myself or want others to think of me)? How?
Did it affect my pocketbook? How?
Did it affect my ambition? How?
Was one of my personal relationships affected or threatened? How?
If the effects described in paragraphs "a" through "d" above do not accurately describe the effect that the event had on you, write a few words to explain how you felt and how you were affected.
COMPLETE THIS ANALYSIS OF EACH OF YOUR RESENTMENTS ARISING OUT OF EACH OF THE EVENTS BEFORE GOING ANY FURTHER WITH THIS INVENTORY!
Look back on the work that you have done thus far. Is it now apparent that these resentments have led you to unhappiness and futility? Have you squandered away many hours reliving these events? Did you drank over these injustices to you? Do you realize that you may drink again if you continue to harbor such feelings? Do you now realize the power over your life that you had given this hate, anger, and resentment? Is it worth it?
Now, read the last full paragraph on Page 66 through the first full paragraph on Page 67. These three paragraphs are extremely important for us in that we are told how to look at others and the wrongs inflicted upon us. We are given a short prayer for us to use when we are wronged or are angry. This prayer will work whenever we need it. Do not forget that where this prayer is located, you will need to use it later.
There is a spiritual axiom that states that when I am disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with me. Now that you have listed and understand the resentment and how it has affected you, it is time to refer, "to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes." Take the following action:
At the top of the fourth column of each page, insert the words "my faults."
For each person, institution, or principle, AND for each event ask yourself:
Where have I been selfish ?
Where have I been dishonest ?
Where have I been self-seeking ?
Where was I to blame ? What was my part in this event ? Where and how was I at fault ? What did I do wrong ?
What should I have done ? What could I have done differently ?
Write down your faults and your answers as revealed by the above questions in the fourth column.
When you have concluded all of these instructions with respect to resentments, and not before, proceed to the next section, "Fear".
Read from the third paragraph on page 67 of the Big Book through the first three full paragraphs on page 68. Then take the following action:
Webster's Dictionary defines "fear" as a feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by the expectation of danger, pain, disaster or the like (being found out [guilt], being known for what you really are, for what you know, or what you think you are.) Fear is being afraid or anxious about something in our past, something now, or something in the future.
It is said that our driving force may be classified as self- centered fear that we will lose something that we already have or not get something that we want or need.
On a page following the section on resentments, write a short description of each fear that you have experienced. Remember that in the previous resentment section, you have already asked yourself about the impact of fear on your resentments, and have already seen self-centered fear as a motivator. Now complete the list of times, places, and circumstances which evoke fear; e.g., snakes, bugs, rats, heights, being alone, events in your life being exposed about which you feel guilt or could be jailed, etc. Some of us drove in blackouts: Did you kill or maim anyone in a blackout? Are you sure? Do you remember everything that you did in blackouts?
Having listed each of the fears, write a short analysis of these fears in an effort to understand them. The Big Book says that fear "set in motion chains of circumstances which brought us misfortunes we felt that we didn't deserve." Write down examples of when these things happened to you.
When you have listed your fears and answered the above questions, read page 68, Alcoholics Anonymous, second and third paragraphs, for the solution to fear. You are also given a short prayer in which we "ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be." This solution should be directed toward each of your fears.
This section of the inventory is covered in the book, ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, from the last paragraph commencing on Page 68 through the end of Chapter Five. Read this material now.
This portion of the inventory begins by clearly discussing sexual relationships. However, in the 1930's, when they talked about all human relationships they were referred to as sexual, and included both sexes. They were not speaking necessarily of only physical sexual relationships. In the last sentence of the last paragraph ending on Page 70 it states, "We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can." This sentence indicates a broader view of our relationships is important and it is therefore suggested that we review our relationship with each of the important people in our lives, as well as all physical sexual relationships.
Following "fears" in your inventory book,you should list the names of those relationships. These people should include both sexual and other human relationships, including family, business (bosses and co-workers), close friends, old girl(boy)friends, etc.
With respect to each person named on this list, write a short paragraph that answers the following questions: -----remember to deal with specific events-----
Was I selfish in this relationship? Where? How?
Was I dishonest in this relationship? Where? How?
Was I inconsiderate in this relationship? Where? How?
Whom did I hurt? How?
Did I arouse jealousy? Where? How?
Did I arouse suspicion? Where? How?
Did I arouse bitterness? Where? How?
Where was I at fault?
What should I have done?
Through study and prayer,
"we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future" life. "Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it." On Page 70 in the second full paragraph, we are given instructions on how to proceed toward our new ideal. We have hurt other people enough already.
In summary, we are told to "pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for strength to do the right thing." If in these troublesome areas, we are told to throw ourselves into helping others.
Read the last two paragraphs of Chapter Five. It is also helpful to read Chapter Four in the Twelve and Twelve at this point. Have you left anything out? ? ? Have you failed to list any event or subject that causes you to be uncomfortable? ? How about that one thing that you were going to take "to the grave" before you told someone else? ? Write it down now.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE COMPLETED STEP FOUR !!
Read Pages 72 through the first two full paragraphs on Page 75.
GO TAKE STEP FIVE....NOW !!!
This web page gathers together ACTION directions about working the 12 steps of recovery. This is not an official AA document. In 1983, I made a "decision" to choose the AA literature as source of direction to overcome drinking. AA "clearcut directions" later provided direction for recovery from substantial "other problems".
With disability and old age, the web widens fellowship dramatically and within my physical limits. "Nothing short of continuous action on these as a way of life can bring the desired result" (12 & 12, step 3 ).
Please re-read in the Big Book, between the Forwards and page 103, and in the 12 & 12 , about the step you are working in order to develop the spirit and hope of the first 100 drunks.
"We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol --- that our lives were unmanageable".
The preceeding "short form" of step one appears simple. Gut level permanence of sobriety, however, "develops slowly over a period of time" as principles of the steps guide our lives.
Each day:
make a statement that I will not drink for one day
go to at least one AA meeting
talk to another alcoholic of sponsor level sobriety
read AA literature
make a statement of thanks before retiring at night
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"
Only in the past several years did I spot the action sentences from the 12 & 12 about step 2.
We quit the debating with society about what God and sanity are.
The word sponsor is used about 12 times in 12 & 12 step 2 . The Big Book, titled Alcoholics Anonymous, tell the helper to "walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress" with the new person.
Instead of discussing God and insanity in discussion meetings, sane step action suggests brief remarks aboutour use of action tools. "Keep it brief." Two minutes max in discussion meetings is a skill builder for saneeffective recovery. Fifteen minutes max in a speaker minute was suggested by AA's co-founder Bill Wilson. The Big Book suggests a structured three part story: What it was like, What happened, and What it is like now. Some experienced speakers use cue cards.
"Made a decision to turn our life and our will over to the car of God, as we understood him."
Please note that I do not dwell upon God with the baffled newcomer. Even Aethiests can transform their lives with the action components of the 12 steps. Persons have been baffled about lack of progress in recovery until they realize the wisdom of Bill Wilson's statement in the 12 & 12, "The fact was we had not cleaned house so the Grace of God could enter."
We made a beginning by coming to AA.
At first this higher power is likely to be our closest AA friend, our sponsor, who points out that coming to meetings is a good beginning but a far cry from a contented useful life.
That is just where the remaining steps come in.
An aethiest or non-acoholic can use this educational process to improve their life.
Please note: I have not described a higher power in this writing. Some other recovery programs accomodate non-diety users: aethiests, etc. I have not learned of any attenders to those programs who performed the cognitive aspects of AA step work as described here. All persons disappointed with AA, interviewed so far, have not thoroughly "written and analyzed" a few resentments as outlined in the Big Book and described here. Many persons within AA are not aware of this process. A few others are observant enough to grasp the principles with little formal writing.
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory."
"Writing will be the first tangible evidence of a complete willingness to move forward (12 & 12stp4)." to Step 4 action , no discussion.
Obtain a 5 subject, spiral bound, full size, college ruled binder. This is most popular popular in our area for the 4thstep writing. First we lay out the following:
3 columns, front and back, of the first 10 pages of our notebook are devoted to this index of our life. Just as layers peel from an onion, we list names of persons, institutions or principles as they enter our mind. Forteen years after compiling the Big Book, BillW stated in the 12&12step8 that "we must redouble our efforts." A few dozen random names at first, as they come to mind, in this master index, not necesarily resentments, has uncluttered the mind and provided emotional balance for a hundred or more friends during five years of it's use. It lays a secure stepping stone into the next phase- resentments.
from page 65 of the Big Book, on the BACK of sheet 10 in our notebook, we write headings on the top line: list affects that apply from list below.
| I'm resentful at: | The cause: | Affects my: |
|---|---|---|
Security was noted in the Big Book p65 as one of five possible affects. It was subdivided into Material and Emotional, in the 12&12step4.
"This was our course".
Big Book page 66 : We frequently read the paragraph which begins with that thought down to the sentence : "We avoid retaliation or argument" from the next paragraph. This reading describes "recovered" response to grudges.
"Refering to our list again" - the Turnarounds: With notebook opened wide to the right of the resentment on the left facing page, we divide the front of sheet 11 into four horizontal page sections, 5 to 11 lines each. Generally, the 3rd section needs several lines, the 2d, a few more. A heading is written at the left of the top line of each section.. From the Big Book page 67, the headings are: Selfish; Dishonest; Self Seeking; "Frightened?"
We look at the "Affects my:" column. The thorougness of analysis of each Affect may have the most influence on permanance of sobriety and manageability in one's life. This analysis can seldom be done alone at first. As 4th and 5th steppers learn how to research "sane ideals" and to spot "flaws which block us", gradually they become freed of addictions and undesired types of dependence.
Selfish: aka the Thoughts: "I wanted her to act the way I wanted her to act // I wanted her to think I was the greatest// Iwanted her to depend on me // I wanted her to work more // I wanted her to be a willing partner// I wanted sex when I wanted it//"
These statements of selfishness describe our thought for each of the "Affects my:" from the left facing page. We don't put the action on the thought here. We describe the action under Self Seeking.
Dishonest: the ANALYSIS: Obvious dishonesty of action or motive is entered. We come back after the other parts are filled in. Then, with a step sponsors help, self-delusion, irrational thinking and skill needs are entered. Thoroughness during this relearning phase develops recovered quality of life. We learn from others what we would do today about a similar situation. Write it down as "I did not ..................", or, "Today I would..........."
Self Seeking: our actions related to the resentment: I drank that night // I hit her // I stayed out all night // I slept with Suzy Q // Now I am sober // I'm putting into action my decision to work the 12 steps // I don't cheat on my beloved bimbo // I ttake care of the kids first after my sobriety // I treat my wife as if she is a sick Alinon. (page 452, BB)//
Frightened: the Emotions: Fear she won't keep me // Fear I may need to find another place to live // Fear I will flip out // Fear I will drink // Fear I'll never have a healthy relation // Fear I won't get along with peole ever // Fear I won't feel serually fullfilled //
Big Book page 67-68 . As we write the Fears in the preceeding section, we might make a statement such as the "Fear Prayer" in the BBook page 68. "At once we commence to outgrom fear!" In the 3rd section of our notebook, we set aside 2 pages to list the general natures of recurring fears from the previous sections. We add known fears which did not relate to resentments.
We devote half of each page in sec3 to answer the questions BBp68 for each fears on sheets 1 & 2, sec3.
Why did we have them? When, where and how did the general nature of recurring fears begin? e.g. Fear of peoples opinions. Wasn't it because self reliance failed us?
Big Book page 68. In section 4 of our 5 section notebook , 1st page, we list in three colums names of, or discreet references to, persons on whom we expended physical and/or emotional energy of an instinctual craving nature. On one page per name thereafter, we answer the questions from the Big Book on page 69 and the 12 & 12 page 119, bottom paragraph.
12 & 12 4th step.
Section 5 of our notebook is assigned to listing our assets of physical, emtional, spiritual and mental natures. On the first page, we list to the left, items such as health conditon, separate line for specific problems, status of drivers license, medications, living with family, debts- separate lines for specific items, and so forth. In 1 inch or so, vertical columns, we code 1 to 10, status of the items. Each column is dated at the top. We can watch progress as we take regular inventory, particularly in respect to the beginning. As we fill pages, we can turn over and arrange the next pages of dated columns to line up with the description column on the first page of section 5.
"We admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
Steps 4 and 5 proceed together to different degrees. Bill W's words in the 12 & 12 step 3 about "continuous action as a way of life" validate regular review by a step sponsor of the protoge's recovery. It is so easy to get off the track! "Thorough" is, I believe, often misapplied in 4th step work. Brief words about many life episodes with skimpy analysis of each, appears to be another obsession in itself. Obvious transformation of character occurs during careful "Full page" anaylsis of each resenment as described.
"Returning home(from step fiving) we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?" Big Book step5.
"Became entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
Since 1982, I still think of this step as a natural product of thorough 4th and 5th step work. The Big Book page 76 has one paragraph on Step 6. The 12 & 12 offers discussion on defects which may jog one's memory a bit, then one can go back to 4 & 5 to fill more voids!
"Humbly asked him to remove these shortcomings."
Big Book page 76 has the 7th prayer in it's one paragraph about step 7. The word "humbly" is often misunderstoodaccording to the 12 & 12, step 5. "To those who have made progress in AA, it amounts to a clear and accurate picture of who and what we really are followed by sincere attempt to become what we could be."
Note that the 7th step prayer states "asked him to remove every defect of character which stood in the way of usefulness...." This cleared up concern about thoughts which were non-spiritual. Can't help an occasional weird inspiration or feeling. But no matter how I feel, I try to do God's will. Realistically, it's the action that counts.
"Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to male amends to them all".
Self Seeking in the 4th step describes harm done to persons we resented. "Our Life's Names" in the front of our notebook has these plus names with no resentment connected.
The 12 & 12 appears to have a correction to the Big Book. The 12 & 12 8th step states that we must redouble our efforts. It describes more subtle type of emotional and other harm. This cleared Tup one of my early questions. What about amends I knew were do for people I did not resent?
"Made direct amends to such people except when to do so would harm them or others."
A qualified 9th step sponsor is important in order not to awkwardly injure others with amend attempts. The Big Book p76, starts a detailed discussion about amends. Most situations are discussed. It is suggested to read this regularly a amends work draws near.
"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
The Big Book p84. includes "We grow in effectivness. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help."
The 12 & 12 discusses spot check and other inventories. The 4th step Assets section has columns for updating inventory. This might also be a form of gratitude list.
"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out."
Big Book page 86 was my entre' into actual AA stepwork. A meeting speaker, Bill S, was describing the directions for starting and ending each day.
"When we retire.... and On awakening... lead into specific directions. I read this regularly for several years to start and finish my days. The 12 & 12 p99 includes St Francis prayer. Recovered thinking is described. "By self forgetting, one finds." ______12 & 12 step 11 enlarges upon actual meditation. I use it's dictionary meaning: contemplation -- an action term. I find a setting where I can think about new and old learning in regards to recovered goals.
"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to those that still suffer and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
The 12 & 12 forward states that it is a broadening and deepening of the steps as written in the Big Book. Therefore, the two together contain virtually all of the Conference Approved step work. ___The Big Book has excellent directions for trying to help another suffering alcoholic. The 12 & 12 speaks of the awakening and practicing the principles. From the Big Book, I show a new person during the first few minutes why I am trying to help, why we try to do this alone and why am want him to talk.
"Then I will know how to proceed. Outline the program of action."
I show a new person how to process their first resentment through the written Big Book format. ___"We walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress with the new man." I point out that he talk with a sponsor level AA person each day.
