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Hej! Vi har nu kommit till ännu en engelsk sida. Denna sida innehåller flera kortare texter. De är ju inte mindre intressanta för det. Acceptance, Don't Quit, Serenity Prayer (orginal), Spiritual Awakening, Listen, Rules for Being Human, Today, Why Worry, Twelve Rewards of the Steps och Hidden Anger. Det var inte lite det!
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Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, all the men and women merely players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation,. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did.AA and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of Godand we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.
For years, I was sure the worst thing that could happen to a nice guy like me would be that I would turn out to be an alcoholic. Today, I find it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. This proves I don't know what's good for me. And if I don't know what's good for me, then I don't know what's good or bad for you or for anyone. So I'm better off if I don't give advice, don't figure I know what's best, and just accept life on life's terms, as it is today-especially as it actually is. Before AA, I judged myself by my intentions, while the world was judging me by my actions.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver lint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse,
That you must not quit.
Author Unknown
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did,
this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen
Reinhold Neibuhr-1926
An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
Frequent attacks of smiling.
Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experience.
An unmistakeable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of ability to worry.
A loss of ability to worry.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of interest in interpreting the action of others.
A lost of interest in judging others.
A lost of interest in judging self.
Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel that you have to do something to solve my problem- you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen; not talk or do-just hear me. Advice is cheap: 36 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself; I'm not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.
So, please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, and I'll listen to you.
Anonymous
You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or you may think them irrelevant and stupid.
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."
A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then move on to the next lesson.
Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
"There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again look better than "here."
Others are merely a mirror of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something that you love or hate about yourself.
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.
Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
You will forget all this.
Anonymous.
I asked GOD for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak that I might humbly learn to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of GOD.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
I was given awareness that I might be grateful for the now.
I got nothing I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I AM AMONG ALL PEOPLE MOST RICHLY BLESSED.
40% Of the things I worry about will never happen, for anxiety is the result of a tired mind.
30% Concern old decisions which cannot be altered.
12% center in criticisms, mostly untrue, made by people who feel inferior.
10% is related to my health which worsens while I worry.
08% is legitimate, showing that life does have real problems which may be met head on when I have eliminated senseless worries.
Hope instead of desperation.
Faith instead of despair.
Courage instead of fear.
Peace of mind instead of confusion.
Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
The respect of others instead of their pity or contempt.
A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
Real friendships instead of loneliness.
A clean pattern of life instead of a purposeless existence.
The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.
If we have any natural fault, it is hiding our own anger from ourselves. Here is a checklist to help you determine if you are hiding your anger from yourself. Any of these is usually a sign of hidden unexpressed anger.
Procrastination in the completion of imposed tasks.
Parpetual of habitual laterness.
A liking for sadistic or ironic humor.
Sarcasm, cynicism or flippancy in conversation.
Over-politeness, constant cheerfulness, attitude of "grin and bear it".
Frequent sighing.
Smiling while hurting.
Frequent disturbing or frightening dreams.
Over-controlled monotons speaking voice.
Difficulty in getting to sleep or sleep through the night.
Boredom, apathy, loss of interest in things you are usually enthusiastic about.
Slowing down of movements.
Getting tired more easily than usual.
Excessive irritability over trifles.
Getting drowsy at inappropriate times.
Sleeping more than usual- maybe 12 to 14 hours a day.
Waking up tired rather than rested and refreshed.
Clenched jaws- especially while sleeping.
Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeaated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
Grinding of the teeth- especially while sleeping.
Chronically stiff or sore neck.
Chronic depression-extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
Stomach ulcers.
This is not about rage. Rage is anger out of control and taking over your whole being. This is about the feelings we call, irritation,annoyance, getting mad,etc. All these negative feelings share one thing in common: they are considered undesirable at best, sinful or destructive at worst. We are taught to avoid then-to avoid having them if possible(it isn't) but certainly to avoid expressing then. Unfortunately, many people go overboard in controlling negative feelings; they control not only their expression, but their awaraness of them, too. Because you are unaware of being angry does not mean that you are not angry. It is the anger you are unaware of which can do most damage to you and to your relationships with other people,since it does get expressed, but in inappropriate ways, Freud once likened anger to the smoke in an old-fashioned wood-burning stove. The normal avenue for discharge of the smoke if up the chimney; if the normal avenue is blocked the smoke will leak out of the stove in unintended ways-around the door, through the grates, etc. chocking everyone in the room. If all avenues of escape are blocked, the fire goes out and the stove ceases to function. Likewise, the normal (human) expression of anger is gross physical movement and/or loud vocalization; watch a red-faced hungry infant sometime. By age five or so we are taught that such expressions are unacceptable to others and lead to undesirable consequences such as being beaten or having affection withheld.
We learn to "be nice", which means (among other things) hiding bad feelings. By adulthood even verbal expression is curtailed, since a civilized person is expected to be "civil". Thus, expression is stifled and to protact ourselves from the unbearable burden of continally unexpressed "bad" feelings, we go to the next step and convince ourselves that we are not angry, even when we are. Such self-deception is seldom completely successful, however, and the blocked anger "leaks out" in inappropriate ways, some of which are previously listed.
The items in the list are all danger signals that negative feelings are being bottled up inside. It is true that each of them can have causes other than anger (procrastination, for example, can be due to an unreasonable fear of failure), but the presence of any of them is reason enough for you to look within yourself for buried resentments. If you are human, you will find some. If you are fortunate, you will find few, since you will have learned effective ways of discharging them. If you are like most of us, you will need to unlearn some old habits before you can learn new ways of handling "bad" feelings, ways which are constructive rather than destructive.
Getting rid of a lifetime accumulation of buried resentments is a major task which is one of the goals of psychotherapy. Whether such a process is necessary for you should be decided in consulation with a qualified professional person. Our immediate concern in the paper is to provide you with some techniques which will help you stop adding to the pile what ever its existing depth.
The process of dealing with negative feelings can be divided into three parts for purposes of discussion, although the living of it is all of a pice. The parts are:
Recognition of the feelings.
Owning it-acknowledging that it is yours.
Discharging it-acting on it in some way.
Everybody has his own bodily signals indicating current on-the-spot anger. Look for yours:
Friends and relatives might be helpful, since they may be aware of your irritation before you are, and may be able to tell you how they can tell, when you are upset. Some common signals are: Clamming up; Blushing; Shortening of breath; Drumming with fingers; foot tapping, shaking or twisting; laughing when nothing amusing is happening patting or stroking the back of the head; Clenching jaws or fists; tucking a thumb inside a fist; yawning or getting drowsy; Suddenly refusing eye contact with another person; Fidgeting; Apologizing when none is asked for; A pain in the neck, Gut or back; Headaches; A rise in voice pitch. The list is interminable; try to find out what your signals are.
If you find yourself depressed or blue and don't know why, Think back over the past twenty-four hours and try to figure out who did something to anger you. (Depression is usually the resuly of repressed anger.) Forget you are a nice guy and imagine yourself to be the toughiest, most unreasonable, childish person on the earth; review your day and look for an incident wherein this imaginary person might have gotten angry. When you find the incident, ask yourself why you didn't get angry. Chances are you did and didn't know it. Remember what you actually did and said in that situation; try to "relieve it" you may learn some of your own internal anger signals.
The anger is yours. The other person may have said or done something that punched your anger button, but the anger is yours, and-so are the feelings it triggers. You cannot make someone else responsible for your own feelings. Blaming does not help. nothing the other person does will help, unless it is in response to something you do. Accepting anger as your own is easier if you discard the idea that feelings need to be justified. They don't, and frequantly cannot be "should" and "feel" are two words which do not belong together. It is senseless to say that someone "should feel" some way. Feelings are just there in the same way your skin, muscles, and vital organs are just there. In fact, it is downright harmful to worry about what you feelings "should be" Such worry will get in the way of finding out what your feelings are is the best start to deciding on the best thing to do.
First, foremost, and always. Don't hide it. You'll probably not be successful, anyway, anger demands expression. If you have recognized it and owned it, then you will have a choice of when, where and how you may express it. Society (and your own safety) forbids violance. Friendship or other interpersonal relationships (such as husband/wife, employer/employee) make explosive verbal expresson ultimately self- defeating. Just saying, "That makes me angery", or "I do not like it when". may not be as satisfying as bashing someone , But it is far more satisfying that saying and doing nothing. There are in reality a few situations in which it is to your best interest to delay expression, but none in which you can afford to delay recognition or owning.
