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Humorous Quotes

Hej! Texten på denna sida, Humorous Quotes, är utsagor av AA medlemmar sagda med glimten i ögat. Möjligtvis i linje med att vi inte ska ta oss själva alltför allvarligt. Varför inte skratta åt oss själva? Skrattet ska ju vara läkande. Det kan ifall inte skada oss. Ta dig en titt! I mitt tillfrisknande upplever jag, en dag i taget, en glädje som jag nog aldrig riktigt har fått känna på tidigare i mitt liv. Detta beror på att jag försökt och försöker så gott jag kan att leva i programmet. Jag försöker också använda mig av detsamma i alla mina angelägenheter.

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Humorous Quotes

Keeping It Light As We Keep Coming Back...Humorous Meeting Quotes!

• You never get your teeth so white that you never have to brush them again.
• If you like everyone in Alcoholics Anonymous, you're not going to enough meetings. (Texas antidote to a pink cloud)
• Don't try to clear away the wreckage of the future.
• It's easier to put on slippers than to try to carpet the world Take your time...God doesn't wear no Rolex.
• If your ass falls off, put it in a paper bag and take it to a meeting.
• You're right where you're supposed to be (when used to the insane and the outraged).
• If my brain didn't need me for transportation, it would have killed me a long time ago!
• Wow, you're really on a pink cloud. Don't worry, hon, this too shall pass.
• If you're not a lion tamer, don't go into the lion's den.
• I treat my head like a bad neighborhood: I don't go in there alone.
• You can't speed up your recovery, but you sure can slow it down.
• You can't save your face and your ass at the same time.
• If I don't let go, I lose my grip.
• If God is your co-pilot, SWITCH SEATS!
• If you keep one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you're just pissing all over today.
• It's 11:00, do you know where your brain is?
• Talk does not cook rice.
• Chicago Serenity Prayer: "F-k it, it ain't worth it" (not to be applied to the steps, of course)
• New York Steps 1, 2, and 3: "I can't, He can, so let Him!"
• If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

Keeping It Sweet...Sayings of Love and Hope

• We'll love you until you learn to love yourself.
• Don't give up before the miracle happens.
• You never have to drink again.
• If you don't have a Higher Power, borrow mine.
• Progress, not perfection.
• Unless I accept my virtues, I will be overwhelmed with my faults.
• We are not human beings sharing a spiritual journey, but spiritual beings sharing a human journey.

Keeping It Simple...Straightforward Wisdom
(some come with a little salt)

• Let God save your soul...we're here to save your ass!
• Take the fifth or drink a fifth.
• Getting there isn't half the fun, it's *all* the fun because there is never there.
• Practice makes progress.
• Emotions destroy intelligence.
• Sometimes you have to get on your knees to rise.
• Fear is faith turned inside-out.
• Resentment is a poison I take to hurt you.
• Buck up, f-ker, you're still sucking wind.
• Step over the bodies if you have to.
• Fake it 'til you make it (Midwestern)
• Act "as if..." (New York)
• Pray daily, God is easier to talk to than most people.
• Willpower tells me I must, but willingness tells me I can.
• Emotions aren't facts.
• Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
• If GOD drives you out, BOOZE will bring you back.
• You can't think your way into a new way of living...you have to live your way into a new way of thinking!

Acronyms

• AA = Absolute Abstinence
• AA = Adventurers Anonymous
• AA = Altered Attitudes
• AA = Altruistic action
• AA = Attitude Adjustment
• ABC = Acceptance, Belief, Change
• ABC = Ashtrays, Broom, Coffee
• ABC = Ashtrays, Broom, Chairs
• ACTION = Any Change Toward Improving One's Nature
• ALCOHOLICS = A Life Centered On Helping Others Live In Complete Sobriety
• ANONYMOUS = Actions Not Our Names Yield Maintenance Of Unity and Service
• ASK = Ass-Saving Kit
• BAR = Beware Alcohol, Run
• BAR = Beware Alcoholic Ruin
• BIG BOOK = Believing In God Beats Our Old Knowledge
• DEAD = Drinking Ends All Dreams
• DENIAL = Don't Even Notice I Am Lying
• DETACH = Don't Even Think About Changing Him/Her
• DUES = Desperately Using Everything but Sobriety
• EGO = Easing God Out
• EGO = Edging God Out
• FAILURE = Fearful, Arrogant, Insecure, Lonely, Uncertain, Resentful, Empty
• FAITH = Fear Ain't In This House
• FEAR = Future Events Appearing Real
• FEAR = Few Ever Arrive Rejoicing
• FEAR = Failure Expected And Received
• FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
• FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real
• FEAR = Fear Expressed Allows Relief
• FEAR = Feelings Every Alcoholic Rejects
• FEAR = Fighting Ego Against Reality
• FEAR = Forget Everything and Run (polite version)
• FEAR = F-k Everything and Run! (not recommended-it's what we used to do)
• FEAR = Face Everything and Recover! (definitely recommended)
• FEAR = Forgetting Everything's All Right (not really!)
• FEAR = Frantic Effort to Appear Real
• FEAR = Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered
• FINE = Faithful, Involved, kNowledgeable and Experienced
• FINE = Feeling Insecure, Numb and Empty
• FINE = Frantic, Insane, Nuts and Egotistical
• FINE = Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional
• FINE = Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional
• FINE = F-cked, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional
• GAYS = Go Ask Your Sponsor
• GIFT = God Is Forever There
• GOD = Good Orderly Direction
• GOD = Group of Drunks
• GOYA = Get Off Your Ass
• GUT = God's Undeniable Truths
• HALT = Honestly, Actively, Lovingly Tolerant
• HALT = Hope, Acceptance, Love and Tolerance
• HALT = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired: Fix these situations before you make any decisions
• HALT = Horny, Arrogant, Lazy and Tragic: if you're any one of these, get to a meeting!
• HALTS = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired and Stupid
• HALTS FEAR = Hope, Acceptance, Love and Tolerance Stops Forgetting that Everything's All Right
• HELP = His Ever Loving Presence
• HELP = Her Ever Loving Presence
• HELP = Hope, Encouragement, Love and Patience
• HOPE = Happy Our Program Exists
• HOPE = Hearing Other Peoples' Experience
• HOPE = Hang On! Peace Exists...
• HOW = Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness: that's how we do it
• HOW = Honest, Open-minded and Willing
• ISM = I, Self, Me
• ISM = Incredibly Short Memory
• ISM = InSide Me
• ISM = I Sabotage Myself
• KISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid
• KISS = Keep It Simple, Sugar
• KISS = Keep It Simple, Sweetheart
• KISS = Keeping It Simple, Spiritually
• MMM = Meetings, Meditation and Masturbation (recommended for the first year)
• NUTS = Not Using The Steps
• OUR = Openly Using Recovery
• PACE = Positive Attitudes Change Everything
• PAID = Pitiful And Incomprehensible Demoralization
• PMS = Poor Me Syndrome
• PMS = Pour More Scotch
• PROGRAM = People Relying on God Relaying a Message
• RELATIONSHIP = Real Exciting Love Affair Turns Into Outrageous Nightmare, Sobriety Hangs In Peril
• RID = Restless, Irritable and Discontented
• SLIP = Sobriety Loses Its Priority
• SOB = Sober Old Bag
• SOB = Sober Old Bastard
• SOB = Sober Old Biker
• SOB = Sober Old Bitch
• SOBER = Son Of A Bitch, Everything's Real
• SOBER = Simply Observe Bill's Exemplary Recovery
• SPONSOR = Sober Person Offering Newcomers Suggestions On Recovery
• STEPS = Solutions To Every Problem in Sobriety
• STEPS = Solutions To Every Problem, Sober
• STOP = Sicker Than Other People
• THINK = The Happiness I Never Knew
• TIME = This I Must Earn
• TIME = Things I Must Earn
• WILLING = When I Live Life, I Need God
• YET = You're Eligible Too